Thursday, 16 June 2011

A post from... the other side...

So this is day 5 and whatever affliction is effecting my intestines is as stubborn as my trisyllabic prose. At first I though I just had a cold and my bowels were turned to water by the vodka and cider I may have ever so slightly indulged in on Sunday. I was wrong.

4 days of pain awaited me and now this is the fifth. Monday I spent most of my time in bed sleeping due to the low blood sugar that comes from not eating.

Of course this led to a funny gross incident on Monday night. I woke up at midnight desperately desiring to defaecate but equally cold and tired.
I made it in due time and parked myself on that serendipitous seat of sanitation where I let loose the fastest and foulest of feces known to man while sweat trickled down my face. Like a zombie, my head slowly skewed up to the ceiling and I passed out.
Some time later, it could have been a minute or an hour, I don't know, I slowly woke up. I thought to myself as I gazed at the rectangular residential rest room roof, "This is not my room".
And I slowly zombie-walked to wash my hands and then went back to my room to rest.

Much of the week I have been sleeping. Sleep is preferable to the alternative. My waking hours I have spent in bed, watching old episodes of south park and the first season of the x-files which I nicked from my sister. Trying to ignore the insatiable hunger...

Of course now I am just plain tired of being sick and tired. It's been a working week and my immune system is still being a lazy prick and hasn't solved the problem yet. Hence this post. to let you guys all know that I am still alive and that I am going to post a relevant post today regardless of my health. Not just because of how awesome you are but because laying in bed all day is boring (which is why I ate breakfast today, which should also make my life very interesting in a few hours...)

Anyway here is a second rate zombie related link to satiate you in the meantime (no that's not me in the video):


  1. Jonathan Coulton = Genius. I don't think he's had a single song I don't like. Hope you start feeling better soon.

  2. Awww, sweetie, I'm sorry you're still feeling poorly. I just got back from the mountain-hiking trip and I'm dismayed to say that all "nostalgic" feelings about leaving China in November has...VANISHED.

    By "vanished," I mean "The toilets were GHASTLY and even twenty hot males generously endowed by nature in the pants area CANNOT make up for my traumatic experience." wasn't too bad, but the toilets sucked and I hate China and I'm ready to move back to the civilized first world countries. And the reason I related this incident to you is because it is marginally relevant to bathroom woes.

    You know, I'm actually wondering if I should send you an e-apology because I tend to go off topic SO OFTEN during my comments.

    Well, hope your stomach retains some of your dinner tonight. If you're feeling sad, sick, tired, or horny, watch The Big Bang Theory.

    And then tell me I'm the most awesome person alive because I'm freaking in love with that show and I'm FINALLY going to stop typing out irrelevant shit in your comment box.

    My sincere apologies. ;)